Our society has created a culture that avoids intimacy. The intimacy that I am referring to is not the sexual, but spiritual and emotional closeness. Unfortunately, when you look at just about any kind of media today, intimacy is portrayed as purely sensual. However, we all need to experience the intimacy between a father and his children.
We’ve adopted an un-Biblical view of intimacy. We think it is all about sex. As a result, men have difficulty being open and close with other men because the enemy has perverted our way of thinking. Largely, when we see two men showing affection toward one another we think that somehow they are effeminate.
I remember when I was young I has neighbors from Puerto Rico. After school, we would play football in our front yards before their father got home. Their dad was a large former military guy. There was nothing effeminate about him. When he would get home, they would greet him with a kiss. I thought it was the weirdest thing. I did not understand the concept of Godly intimacy expressed between father and son. What the boys shared with their dad was a closeness alien to most men. Now please don’t go around kissing every guy you see you might get punched in the face! However, I am pointing out that the enemy has robbed us of something precious by putting a cultural block in our minds. We don’t know what true, Godly intimacy is and even the church has done its part to further its misunderstanding.
Many ministries teach about soul ties and that they occur between two people who are sexually intimate. However, the Bible teaches something a bit different. Let’s take the relationship between David and Jonathan. The Bible says,
“Now when he had finished speaking to Saul, the heart of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul…Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan took off that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his own bow and his belt.” (1 Sam 18:1-4)
Here we see that a soul tie actually occurred between two people who made a covenant with each other and their was nothing sexual about the relationship. Jonathan loved David, “as his own soul” this is the same thing that Jesus taught when He said that we should “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). Jonathan made a covenant to serve, protect, and love David for the rest of his life. Isn’t that the kind of community we are to be? Love is central to the Gospel because “God is love” (1 John 4:8) and the way the world will know that we are His disciples is by our love for one another (John 13:35).
Relationships bring us into a place where we can experience intimacy and intimacy can only come from meaningful time spent with each other. More on that to come.